Picking up steam? Meh.

Sorry for the hiatus. I was busy advising the Yankees front office on which over-the-hill cast-offs to patch the roster with. Matt Nokes has been working out lately.

I thought I would take a look at my what-has-to-go-right list from June 13th and see if we've made any progress in those those problem areas.


- Andy has to settle in.
Since my post, Andy has gone on a 5-2 run at a 2.39ERA clip and has gone 6 innings or more 7 out of 8 times.

- Joba has to pitch efficiently.
He's average about 5.2 innings since my last post which is OK but what he's done on the mound is nothing short of briliant. The absence of walks in the past couple of games is a great sign for Joba and hints at a career in the front of the rotation. Just imagine if this kid got some run support.

- Moose has to keep selling children to the devil to continue his renaissance.
Moose's ERA keeps plummeting as he goes for a 2.84ERA since my post. His recent increase in K-rate is very encouraging.

- Wang has to return to Wangdome.
Has vaginas for feet.

- Hawkins has to leave.
While he's still on the team, you can barely notice as he's pitched once (with a 7-1 lead) in over a month. Time to dump this waste of a roster spot and bring up one of the kids that can actually help out. Preferably Bruney.

- Dave Robertson or Mark Melancon have to come up to steady the bullpen.
Robertson is up and dazzling. 14 Ks in 10 IP and allowing only 2 ER.

- Giambi needs to keep the mustache.
The 'stache remains. Giambi's OPS has dropped 50 points over the past month but he still remains a force at the plate. Why they're allowing Richie Sexson to take ABs away from him, I'll never understand.

- Jeter, Melky, and Cano have to at least become average athletes.
Since June 13th:
Jeter: .815 OPS
Melky: .568 OPS
Cano: .887

I didn't think it was possible but Melky managed to get even worse. Damon's delayed recall from the DL means that the Yankees will have to feature Brett Gardner and Melky in the same OF. Weak grounders and pop-outs aplenty.


In this time period, the Yankees have gone 18-12 in one of the cupcake-iest tours of their schedule. Obviously this would be a bit improved had the Yankees not lost Wang/Damon/Matsui and traded for CC.

Kudos to Joba, Andy, and Moose for bolstering a rotation that lost 3 pitchers and to the best bullpen we've seen in the Bronx in years. (Is this true, I'm too lazy to check stats.)

George King:

..there is a strong belief in the Yankees universe that Chien-Ming Wang's season could be over due to a Lisfranc fracture in his right foot.

If George King is just making shit up to sell papers and there was never a hint that Wang's foot is actually broken then I swear I will continue to not read his articles.

Things have gone terribly, terribly right!

First off, Happy Salami-Day to Padreki, rally-killer that you are.

Secondly, after a gem by Andy tonight, a glimmer of hope is sparked in the Yankeeverse. Here are the things that need to go right for the Yankees to go on a tear and finally reach two or three games over .500.

- Andy has to settle in.
- Joba has to pitch efficiently.
- Moose has to keep selling children to the devil to continue his renaissance.
- Wang has to return to Wangdome.
- Hawkins has to leave.
- Dave Robertson or Mark Melancon have to come up to steady the bullpen.
- Giambi needs to keep the mustache.
- Jeter, Melky, and Cano have to at least become average athletes.

If these things can coincide, we can finally take advantage of the last leg of our cupcake schedule.

Mediocrity?! This. Is. THE BRONX!!!!

You got your wish, Yankee-verse...

...because your New York Yankees are now hitting like 9 Scott Brosiuses (Brosii?)

Your Yankee Offense Personified

What an incredible weekend. The Yankees go zooming past Tony Graffanino on the OPS scale and now your New York Yankees are playing like 9 DiMaggios!!! Not that one. No, not him either. The other other one. But still!!! .738 Team OPS


Here we come, Ramon Hernandez!!

Rollin'

Last 5 games: 5-0 outscoring opponents 41 to 14

Granted, this was against the Ms and the Os but with ARod back and Miguel Cairo's spirit exorcised from Cano and Giambi, they should put on a good show with their upcoming cakewalk schedule.

The Face of Your Yankees Offense

After a monster night for the lineup, the Yankees have been upgraded to nine Greg Zauns:

Does your company do anything?

QuesTec, Inc.
P.O. Box 662
Deer Park, New York 11729
Fax # 631.980.3710

Oh, Captain

Derek Jeter heroically forces his glove over his injured wrist in an effort to redeem the Yankees after last night's cowardly, meaningless, stat-padding homerun off the bat of Alex Rodriguez.

Your Yankee Offense Personified...

After last night's poor showing, your New York Yankees are now playing like nine Tim McCarvers. (.725 OPS)

Hijinx'd

Farnsworth returned to crap and Moose gave up five SO FAR in the first inning.

This team desperately needs to un-fuck itself.

EDIT: Sixth run just crossed home in the first. He has walked in a run against Ramon Hernandez and gotten hit around by the bottom of the Baltimore lineup.

The Return

Bless you and your impossibly high expectations.

Also, Melky and Cano have clearly been staying up all night playing Road Rash and eating candy. Please whip them into shape.

Yankees Offense Personified

As of right now, the Yankees offense is playing like 9 Julio Lugos (career numbers):

Pulling their weight

The offense is anemic and the Yankees are still below the .500 mark but things could be a lot worse. I think some credit should go to Farnsworth and Mussina for rising above my very low expectations of them.

Mussina's last 5 starts:

IP	H	ER	BB	SO	HR	ERA
29.1	27	9	3	17	2	2.76

Moose is sporting a 1.1 WHIP for the season which makes me think that his ERA should be lower but he still loves to give up HRs so that probably accounts for that.

Farnsworth's May line:

IP	H	ER	BB	SO	HR	ERA
5.2	4	0	0	4	0	0.00

Before May, hitters were OPSing .937 against The Professor. During May, .513.

This is probably a blip but he seems to be locating better and his slider looks nasty.

If you think the Yankees are frustrating to watch now, just wait until the other shoe drops with these guys.

If this happens, I'm going to become a full-time soccer fan

via MLBTradeRumors:

I can, and will, watch this all day

Something good to take from Phil's start this weekend.

Miller and Morgan

Is there anything worse than having to sit through 9 innings of these walking/talking jokes galumph their way through the china shop that is the English language?

I really don't know who is worse: Joe Morgan with his "analysis" that includes making up terms like "underspin" and "funny-pitch" or Jon Miller with his inability to cover up his middle school boner for the Boston Red Sox in the booth. But, then again, Red Sox fandome and a poor grasp of the game of baseball go hand-in-hand.

At least they broke things up by going to the mummy of Peter Gammons for some unbiased Red Sox tea-bagging.

That said, if any of those guys can avoid hitting into double-plays I'll put them in the Yankee's lineup right now.

Larry Bowa...

...we miss you.

Rich Harden

via MLBTradeRumors:

According to a source of Susan Slusser of the San Francisco Chronicle, "the Yankees have apparently expressed interest in Rich Harden." Slusser believes the A's would demand full price for Harden, perhaps asking for Ian Kennedy and young pitchers.

Please don't let Billy Beane's hand in our cookie jar.