You got your wish, Yankee-verse...

...because your New York Yankees are now hitting like 9 Scott Brosiuses (Brosii?)

Your Yankee Offense Personified

What an incredible weekend. The Yankees go zooming past Tony Graffanino on the OPS scale and now your New York Yankees are playing like 9 DiMaggios!!! Not that one. No, not him either. The other other one. But still!!! .738 Team OPS


Here we come, Ramon Hernandez!!

Rollin'

Last 5 games: 5-0 outscoring opponents 41 to 14

Granted, this was against the Ms and the Os but with ARod back and Miguel Cairo's spirit exorcised from Cano and Giambi, they should put on a good show with their upcoming cakewalk schedule.

The Face of Your Yankees Offense

After a monster night for the lineup, the Yankees have been upgraded to nine Greg Zauns:

Does your company do anything?

QuesTec, Inc.
P.O. Box 662
Deer Park, New York 11729
Fax # 631.980.3710

Oh, Captain

Derek Jeter heroically forces his glove over his injured wrist in an effort to redeem the Yankees after last night's cowardly, meaningless, stat-padding homerun off the bat of Alex Rodriguez.

Your Yankee Offense Personified...

After last night's poor showing, your New York Yankees are now playing like nine Tim McCarvers. (.725 OPS)

Hijinx'd

Farnsworth returned to crap and Moose gave up five SO FAR in the first inning.

This team desperately needs to un-fuck itself.

EDIT: Sixth run just crossed home in the first. He has walked in a run against Ramon Hernandez and gotten hit around by the bottom of the Baltimore lineup.

The Return

Bless you and your impossibly high expectations.

Also, Melky and Cano have clearly been staying up all night playing Road Rash and eating candy. Please whip them into shape.

Yankees Offense Personified

As of right now, the Yankees offense is playing like 9 Julio Lugos (career numbers):

Pulling their weight

The offense is anemic and the Yankees are still below the .500 mark but things could be a lot worse. I think some credit should go to Farnsworth and Mussina for rising above my very low expectations of them.

Mussina's last 5 starts:

IP	H	ER	BB	SO	HR	ERA
29.1	27	9	3	17	2	2.76

Moose is sporting a 1.1 WHIP for the season which makes me think that his ERA should be lower but he still loves to give up HRs so that probably accounts for that.

Farnsworth's May line:

IP	H	ER	BB	SO	HR	ERA
5.2	4	0	0	4	0	0.00

Before May, hitters were OPSing .937 against The Professor. During May, .513.

This is probably a blip but he seems to be locating better and his slider looks nasty.

If you think the Yankees are frustrating to watch now, just wait until the other shoe drops with these guys.

If this happens, I'm going to become a full-time soccer fan

via MLBTradeRumors: